(Saitama JAPAN, 1967)
Graduate English course at Kanda Institute of Foreign Languages in 1987, graduate Photography course, Kyoto University of the Arts in 2017. I was an ordinary housewife until I was 48. I didn't know anything about photography. But that year, I enrolled in a photography course at a correspondence art college and graduated in three years. The reason was that in 2005, when I was 38 years old, my only son died in an accident at the age of four, and I'had been in hell, unable to do anything about it. Ten years later, I suddenly encountered "photography" one day. I was fascinated by this way of expression.I wanted to use photography to free myself from the grief of losing my son. My artist statement is "Visualization of Loss”. I wanted to use photography to free myself (and yours too) from the grief of losing.
My photography began with my son. I am sure that I would like to continue my photography with my son's death as my main theme.
This photo was taken using instax film (known as Cheki film in Japan), and I developed and processed it myself. I did not use a camera. The reason why I decided to make this kind of work is that I wanted to capture the landscape in front of me.
Since August 2005, I have had the feeling that I have been having a long dream. because that year, my only son died suddenly in an accident.
After so many many years, I could finally wake up in the morning and go about my daily life as normal.But, I felt always that life was like I was dreaming. I was conscious, but probably dreaming. It was like a lucid dream.
Even though the landscape in front of me had a shape, my consciousness was not able to create a form. When I thought about how to express it in a photograph, I found this method. These photos were the very landscape I was looking at.
In Japan, this Cheki film and camera is used when there is a party or happy event. We often use it so that we can easy print and give them right away.
I think I really wanted to use this film to capture all the fun memories I had with my son. but I just couldn't do it any more.
I feel that the unformed things that appear in this film , this my work are actually the origin of the happy memories I wanted to capture with my son. NOW that he's not here, that means I couldn't form it into these picture.
It is also a work that questions the nature of photography.
I would like to ask whether photography needs a camera or a subject.
Any way I will never wake up from this dream.